originally posted 23rd April 2006

I started off by searching for a suitable image before writing here tonight. The search criteria I used was "Tears" but I ended up picking the above image which is called "I feel your fear".

This is my 2nd night shift and last shift for this week. Not back at work until Thursday now, so I looking forward to my regular 4 days off. The evening part of the shift has been something quite different to the norm and something I've not experienced for a while. It started off with comforting a distressed client, however, another ex client called by in a very distressed state. I spent about 2 hours just talking with him and listening to him. He really was in a bad way to the point of being seriously concerned for his welfare. I'm talking of someone who has come to the end of their tether and is really suffering emotionally. As I listened to him, I felt a great surge of emotion which was a little difficult to control. The manner of his distress reminded me so much of the place I had been emotionally a few years ago. After a long while of him talking and crying through all of this, he seemed to lighten up a little. The outpouring of what was clearly honest soul bearing seemed to make a small difference. He left with a little practical information that I provided for him in the form of phone numbers and leaflets. I just hope and pray he will be ok. This is the side of my job that I really want to do, just to offer a listening ear to someone who has been ignored, used and abused to the point of despair and desperation. In many ways, I didn't know what to do and wanted to do so much more to help but on reflection, I think I may have done enough for tonight at least. I found myself silently praying for this guy while he was with me.

I haven't got much of the practical work done that I planned to do tonight, but then, it can always be done another time.

M