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Marty's "Living life in chapters" A self development blog: Emotions Rollercoaster

Marty's "Living life in chapters" A self development blog

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Emotions Rollercoaster

I took this picture last Thursday. It's from the lay by on the road next to Manston Airport. I was just on my way back from Band Practice about 9.30pm. It doesn't quite capture the sky as I saw it and its slightly disappointing, but I thought I'd share it anyway.
I woke this morning feeling pretty dreadful. Just a feeling of uselessness and despair for an hour or so. I'm feeling a little better now having distracted myself by investigating possible new job opportunities. Not that I'm sure that's what I really want to do, but my feelings and emotions feel that way at this time. Just one simple remark the other day set off this latest bout of depression/blues. Over that last few days I've felt angry, demotivated and cynical. My confidence has gone out the window. The roller coaster has me bouncing around between doing something positive about the situation.... went out for a run yesterday, indulging in music and band, meeting friends, writing down the events that have caused this episode.... and then I just feel its all just a waste of time and I fall into a cycle of self blame. I don't see myself returning to work anytime soon and this brings on feelings of guilt. It's all typical symptoms of the depression I guess.
I might go for another run today and perhaps help some friends of mine get their computer fixed. Just trying to keep to positive thoughts going as much as possible.

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