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Marty's "Living life in chapters" A self development blog: Keep a temperate mood

Marty's "Living life in chapters" A self development blog

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Keep a temperate mood

There are times when we witness conflict between people. Sometimes we are in it and with the personal element to that, it is difficult to keep a cool and reasonable head. 
Try to be temperate

I've witnessed people have a disagreement with one party getting angry and raising their voice, attempting to dominate the interaction. So long as one side of the exchange keeps relatively calm, the moment of anger can be expressed and then float away. Dangers occur when both people become angry and seek to dominate, each claiming the other is not listening. As we know, some serious incidents end up in a physical fight. It is simply poor communication that causes this.

I was involved in a situation somewhat like this the other day. The disagreement was certainly not going to be resolved. The subject was about a persons anger. Voices getting raised on both sides made it worse. I became aware that I kept calm at all times. I had the advantage of being less involved. I recognised the issues on both sides. I was tempted to be critical of how the communication was breaking down, but to have voiced that would have got me involved unnecessarily. I actually caught sight of myself in the mirror and became aware that my calmness alone stopped the interaction escalating. 

I've said in the past that "Sitting on the Fence" can cause us to get splinters in our backsides! The secret in being on the outside is to stay outside and say little. Just allow your calmer spirit to enter the space. I'm suggesting it helps those in conflict to feel safe. That occurs in their sub conscious

  • If you get into a conflict, try to stay as calm as you are able to.
  • If you feel an injustice, take a inventory of your emotions and feelings. It is probably better to do that at a later, more appropriate time when you feel less angry. 
  • Decide what your options are. What creative ways can you get the best out of the situation?
  • Look at what you can learn from the experience.
  • If you feel bad, recognise that the feeling is there for a reason. We have been granted a wide spectrum of feelings at the point of existence. They are there for a reason, so resolve to make use of them to learn.
  • If you are not directly involved in the conflict, try not to get too involved. People are entitled to get angry so allow that anger to be expressed in a natural and appropriate way.
Take care folks. 

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