23rd July 2006 - Family history

WOW!!! summut really amazing happened for me tonight.

I went round to the pub for a pint and a pretty young girl came up to speak to me. She said "You're Martin 'arnt you?" I said yes and kinda recognised her. She said "You are my uncle". This is very true and I realised who I was speaking to. I had not seen her for 10 yrs (even then only on a family gathering). We had a long chat about about family issues. I was really impressed with how she listened and shared. Its someone I really connected with. She is such a kind and caring person. We both agreed that family is quite difficult for both of us for various reasons... and that it is not very close. Ya see.... I fell out with my sister years ago and there has been tension between us for a long time. My niece really recognised and understood this. It was a real blessing to meet her.

After such a long chat... I ended up confesssing to her about a real guilt I have in that I am her God father and had not kept to that responsibility. She was so kind and loving about this. I know that I have come to a lot of forgiveness in recent years. Chatting tonight made me realise that (from what my niece told me) how my sister is and how much she hurts too. I sense to possiblilty that we can sort out some family issues in the near future. It has really touched my heart.

What with going back over history, I've included a picture of Minnis Bay that I took when I was a teenager. Very much like to warm weather we have had recently.

Comments

(7 total)

I read your blog about your niece Marty. What a coincidence huh? My daughter had asimilar discussion with her house mate who has a similar relation to his family as you have with your sister. No need to go into detail accept to say after they talked, he went to see his family after 12 years! Went to a wedding and was greeted with great enthusiasm. He made connections of course before showing up so it wasn't a shocker when he arrived. But mny good things came from it! I wish you well on your family future gatherings. I'm sure with your positive outlook things will go well in the future. Tom!

Sunday 23 July 2006 - 03:16AM (EDT)

I sympathise.

There was a time when our family had regular 'get togethers' and the clan would gather from far and wide.

These slowly became get togethers to mourn the older members of the family and now they tend to have become just a subset of the Holder family.

Maybe it is time that we tried for the full gathering. It's not long before my next milestone - I just wonder how many would like to attend?

Sunday 23 July 2006 - 09:31AM (BST)

Family issues yes I am struggling with them right now. BIG time. Not willing to go into detail and hope that mine resolve themselves as positively as yours have, and birth family is always a biggie..

:o(

Steph

Sunday 23 July 2006 - 12:18PM (BST)

i love it when my family has a fall out,after every dissagrement we allways have a family get together.

Sunday 23 July 2006 - 12:58PM (BST)

Oh this is a moving story! One of my sisters does not get on with either of her lovely adult daughters. It pains me but after many years I reckon that all I can do is love the three of them.

Tuesday 25 July 2006 - 05:53PM

I was touched about by what you had to say about the meeting with your niece. Sometimes I think that I/we expect far to much from each other. My own story of not knowing my family is something I used to beat myself up about but I am getting close to resigning myself to accepting things just how they are. At the end of the day people make their own choices in life. I try to remember that love is an action not a word but you can't give it to anyone if they don't want it. Finally, I will remind you that you have no control of what happened yesterday but you ARE in control of what you do today. Make a start today and if it doesn't work, start again.
Good luck Martin.
John (Northern Ireland)

Friday 28 July 2006 -