originally posted 15th July 2006

What happened today - and general reflective thoughts.

Pic from Snowdonia in 2004 holiday.

Not a bad day today at all. I managed to get out for a run with Craig this afternoon. Although it was windy, it was still quite warm to run in the afternoon. I've spent a lot of time at the PC today. "Flickr" (which I subscribed to some time ago) has suddenly taken an interest for me in the last couple of days. Not only have I uploaded more photo's, I found myself searching out others... trying to find some relevance to myself. I found one guy who is a pilot and has taken numerous photos of my local area from the sky. That was really interesting.

I've got back into chatting with some random people on various messenger services too. That interest has suddenly sparked too.

Reflections.....

I've been looking at some stuff on Emotional Intelligence and how it relates to my work and to myself. I'm still bouncing between being either very enthusiastic about some topics and also completely losing motivation. This seems to happen fairly often with me. I don't feel its a major problem... just something that occurs. I used to think I had a fear of failure, however I think it has more to do with a fear of success. Having read an article on EI, I can see the possibility that success in our lives is driven by what is considered acceptable by those in authority to us - parents, teachers, peers etc. The article I read http://eqi.org/edi76.htm refers to people (as I see it) that conform without question as being considered successful. Whenever I've tried to work in a commercial environment, I've often felt my concience tell me to question any hidden agenda's that I percieve. Its a kind of gut feeling. Thats not to say, of course, that I am still an avid approval seeker.
I've come to the conclusion that we all live our lives in a comfort zone (Have I said this before?). The challenge is to step out of the comfort zone whilst maintaining a reasonable level of safeness in our lives. I believe in maintaining integrity (I guess thats something learned) whilst accepting that I'm far from perfect.

Well... its back to work tomorrow. I wonder what that will bring........

Comments

Thought provoking, Marty. Our perception of our work zones is influenced by those around us. Our ability to venture forward speculatively has been shaped emotionally within us, because our motivation is guided by our ability to pursue success in an objective manner. My work with secular music and Sunday football coaching with kids was endorsed by a Talk given by one of my church elders. If you like his words released me. Looking back now, basically he gave me the authority to change my life.

And i think there is an apt parable to show that God allows us to try things. The parable of the talents, in which the only servant considered useless and unworthy, was the one that considered his master as a hard and ruthless task master. It was only this servant who dug the resources into the ground and didn't work them. I believe that this is not just a parable that shows we are rewarded for using our 'gifts' but also that our belief about the character of our spiritual master both determines our freeness to act and our ability to succeed

Sunday 16 July 2006 - 11:13AM (BST)

So what you are saying, if I read you right is that you feel that your success in any given business is dictated by others approval or diapproval of WHAT you do - rather than who you are. Yes, life in business is definitely all about proving competance and that is what the hardnosed business world is about, proving your 'doings' and that is what has always bothered me. We are not human doings, we are human 'beings' and the being part of us, in business is not taken notice of. That is so important to me, I cannot express it more clearly. Working in a counselling setting means that it is not about what we 'do' although the how is very important, it is about who we are and how we behave that is important. No proving of competance of the Doing in the business sense. I guess we have to show that we are reflective and self examining, or we would not be competant to work with other humans. Until we can love ourselves fully for who we are, how can we love anyone else?

Sunday 16 July 2006 - 09:46PM (BST)