The oddest day to leave a job

I don't know of anybody who spent their last day in a job, that day being Christmas day. That was it for me today. My official last day is actually 27th December, but today was my last shift of 4 hours 8am to midday. It really did feel strange. A real sense of emptiness as I looked back at the building before getting in my car. I caught myself thinking about the clients and how they would be when I returned after Christmas, only to suddenly realize that I would not in fact be there anymore.

Five years in one place of work is a long time for me. It's the second longest I've worked anywhere. The longest was the motor trade and I left there under very different circumstances. Those days were the start of a real change in direction. It was the beginnings of a need to really deeply evaluate my life and who I am. It was the beginnings on turning the corner although I'd say I was pretty lost at that time. So it's been 5 years working directly supporting people. That has been a real emotional challenge.

I could not help feeling sad today. It's that nagging feeling I get in the pit of my stomach that makes me feel unwell. The build up of anxiety and a kind of fear that is only released by quietly shedding a few tears.

Well, the rest of the day has been a pretty usual Christmas day. I went for a walk down the bay after dinner. There was next to nobody around. Had a kip this afternoon after that and spent the evening watching TV. It's always a relief to get Christmas out of the way. The festival is far too long really. It will be good to get back to some sort of normality. I'll have the added challenge of the new job.

That's about it really. This is just about offloading a few thoughts to keep those demons at bay.