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Marty's "Living life in chapters" A self development blog: Rain

Marty's "Living life in chapters" A self development blog

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Rain

A little late I'm posting for Brenny experiment with short stories on a theme. Took me a while to be inspired, but seeing grey clouds this morning whilst driving back from Asda, this is what I have come up with: -

The phone rings.
"Hi Charie. Where are you? We're expecting you at the meeting this morning"
Panic and remorse hit Charlie. How could he have forgotton todays meetings? A promise made and now half broken. Switching the television off and rushing to get ready, a text message bleats on Charlie's mobile phone.
" Hi Dad. Can you come and pick me up? It looks like it gonna rain." Feeling more frustrated and neglectful, Charlie rings Lucy and apologies that he really must get to the meeting. Its very important. "Sorry Lucy, you'll have to get the bus today". It takes another 2 minutes for Charlie to get off the phone due to the pleading of his daughter. This only adds to the guilt. "How can I have been so stupid. I'm really not nearly as organised as I should have been!"

Charlie rushes to his car, then realises he has left the car keys indoors. More frustration! The clouds gather and the sky darkens. Eventually, returning to the car and reversing off the drive, a yellow light blinks on the dashboard. Low fuel. "Arrrrghhh. Another hold up!" Charlie can feel his blood pressure rising and the panic in his throat. He arrives at the petrol station, only to find that there is a tanker delivery and all pumps are closed. Frustrated, reversing back on to the road and screeching the tyres as he does so, other car flash their headlights at him and one car sounds his horn. Was that really neccessary? These thoughts went through Charlie's mind as the wailing of the horn lowered in tone with the passing of the vehicle on the road.

Five minutes later, a few drops of rain spattered the windscreen as Charlie continued up the duel carrigeway toward his office. Suddenly, the engine faltered and the car slowed to a stop. Out of fuel. Reaching for his mobile phone, Charlie realised he was not going to make this meeting. As he pulled the phone from his pocket, it rang.

"Hello Charlie. Where are you? I thought you were going to be at home all day today. Don't forget to pick the bag of spuds up this morning. We'll have none for dinner tonight. "

"Grace, I'm in the car. The fuel is out. Did you not think to fill the tank when you used it last night?"

"Don't blame me! You could have filled it yesterday. You know I hate using petrol stations. Where are you going anyway. Don't let me down with the potatoes. I've go enough to do as it is today without worrying about cooking".

And so the conversation went on for another to minutes, ending with Grace cutting Charlie off mid sentence. The clouds were really quite dark now outside. Charlie searched for the office number on his phone and put the call in. The reception phone rang for what seemed like ages.
"Hello Curz......." BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP. The phone went dead as the battery ran out. Charlie got out of the car, grabbed the fuel can from the boot of the car and started to walk. Nobody stopped along the road and it took 45 minutes before he got to the fuel station and filled the can. Returning to the car an hour later, stressed and exhausted, the rain began to fall steadily and the sky become darker to the north. When Charlie finally got to car door he spotted the ticket tucked under his windscreen detailing the fine for illegal parking. At that very moment, the heavens opened as driving rain spattered Charlie's face.

"When it rains, it pours"

Comments

(11 total)

Fabulous Marty...I loved it.

I liked how everything builds to that moment when it actually begins to rain, yet it is already puring in poor Charlies life that day!

It makes me wonder what did Charlie do then? How much more could go wrong in his day?

A fantastic ending...left me thinking and wanting to know more. xx

Thursday 28 September 2006 - 12:19PM (BST)


Poor CHarlie. I am glad to know that I am not the only one who has days that when it rains it pours. It is a wonderful story and so very true.

Thursday 28 September 2006 - 06:22AM (CDT)


Hey Marty matey, I guess we all have days where it not only rains but it pours and sometimes even persists it down.

Thursday 28 September 2006 - 12:23PM (BST)


is this a new story collection time? if so, I'd love the chance to submit one, and congrats on a good story, I really felt sorry for the guy, when his day stuffed up, by running out of fuel......know that exact feling..........

Thursday 28 September 2006 - 04:24AM (PDT)


Thank you Rainy. I guess I like to leave my stories open at the end. I think it keeps it in peoples consciousness.

Yep Sister - We certainly do get those days from time to time. You have to laugh in the end though. Whta else can you do?

Thursday 28 September 2006 - 12:24PM (BST)


Poor Charlie he really had a day....BTW did he ever get the spuds?
That had to be the wife in me LOL
I had a wonderful time on that trip

Thursday 28 September 2006 - 06:44AM (CDT)


I do so have days like that....

Thursday 28 September 2006 - 01:59PM (BST)


Marty once again you have impressed me! Very good story. Brilliant! keep them coming!
smile x

Thursday 28 September 2006 - 02:23PM (BST)


Marty, great story. Like Rainy, I felt like it was pouring long before the rain started. I have had days like that, and the story brings it out so well.

I was particularly conscious of the way the dialogue with the wife started out with a blame game. Happens so much when I am stressed, running behind or if it's just plain pouring.

Great story. Will add it to the festival page now.

Thursday 28 September 2006 - 01:53PM (EDT)

A very nice story , you dont know me even yet your Charlie sounded so much like me,lolz.

Saturday 30 September 2006 - 01:41AM (IST)


Charlie Charlie Charlie, Poor Charlie. Why is it I feel for you buddie, but I am smiling here even laughing. Is it irony or is it the way you write so convincingly..loved it. Thanks mate!!

Sunday 1 October 2006 - 11:25AM (WST)

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