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Marty's "Living life in chapters" A self development blog: Control vs Freedom

Marty's "Living life in chapters" A self development blog

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Control vs Freedom

"Those who seek to control others have a lack of self control."

This was the answer that came to my mind when someone asked me today why some people are abusively controlling in relationships. 

I followed this up with:

"Live and let live = self respect = confidence = I know who I am = I accept myself"

This all came to my mind in free thought. Analysing it afterwards, I wondered whether it could be described the other way around. i.e. 

"I accept myself = I know who I am......" etc.

Further examination of these thoughts brought back one of my favourite values of balance. Applying this means that there are times when a degree of control is required in a relationship. For instance, a caring parent or adult who seeks to protect a child from hurting themselves. For example, a toddler who is inquisitive in exploring the world around them needs some protection from wandering into a busy road. This would not be unreasonable and is done for correct reasons. As a child grows and learns to understand right from wrong, it would then be ok to gently allow the child to make measured decisions for themselves.

The type of control I'm referring to at the beginning of this blog is when a person who is capable of making decisions is denied this opportunity by another who has an element (perhaps) of distrust in themselves. Or perhaps the controlling person feels the need to inappropriately take responsibility for the actions of the person they are controlling. 

If we are free, then we have freedom to decide for ourselves. If others truly care for us, then they will forgive us for our mistakes. This will help us to learn to forgive ourselves.

As I said, this is all free thinking and I seek some feedback from folk on what I've written here.

With Love

Marty

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