27th August 2006

I had a really nice compliment on here last night. A lot of people said "I like your new pic on your profile Marty". In fact one person said, "So pleased to see the real you, I didn't like it when you put your avatar on" which I did briefly yesterday. It got me to thinking about self image. I've gown up being very self conscious about my own image (like many folk I guess). When I took the new photo of myself yesterday and put it on, I thought,, hmmmmm not sure if I like it, makes me look a bit scary. I look at myself in picture and think my head is too large, or my nose is too pointed, or my eyes are not attractive... too small, eyebrows too high and arched.
The thing is... does it really matter? Well no it doesn't. I am who I am. I'm not nearly as self conscious as I used to be. I guess thats borne out by the fact I'm happy to share my pic. My life experience (particularly as a child) gave me very low self esteem. That too have improved considerably as I've grown to be more accepting of myself.
Ya see, even now, I look at the pic of me above taken in 1986 the day after Chris and I got engaged and in a self depreciating humour way think, whoa! look at them sparrow legs LOL. BOY was I skinny then. Ha ha... mullet days.. big hair!

Learning to love yourself is, I have found, one of lifes hardest lesson in life. I'm getting there...

Now for more scribblings...

Excuse letter for speeding.

This occurred around 1996.

Working one Saturday at my job in the motor trade, just 5 minutes before I was due to go home, my boss came and asked me to type a personal letter for him. (This was going to take me a least 20 minutes to do, said boss had an obsession with grinding out as much blood as he could from his employee's. I swear he left it late on purpose.)

This letter (hand written by him in his own scrawl) was a lengthy attempt to get out of paying a speeding fine and points on his license. It was a sob story about the fact he had been driving in an area he did not know and therefore “was unaware of the speed restrictions in this rural area”. He also stated that he had not seen the 30mph limit sign because it was hidden behind a bush! Along with numerous other excuses including describing the calming comfort of the reasonably priced “family” car he drove and the fact it was of average performance (having the audacity to try and sell a car in a begging letter!!!) he finished this letter with the words “I have been driving for 25 years” - to which I thought, its about time you pulled over, you must be knackered!

COMMENTS

Oh I am always being asked by my family to write letters to get them out of speeding/parking fines it drives me loopy! Did he get away with it then?!

And as for personal pics, I think we all get self-conscious as to how we look, it's not just you so you're not alone there :)

Sunday 27 August 2006 - 07:57PM (VUT)

I went through the same insecurities, it didn't help having a hubby that put me down all the time to make him feel better, our relationship got better when he realised how big an issue it was for me and is being more supportive so the world can think what it likes about my face which I may put on show again once my phone cred is topped up lol. I think every individual is unique and has a beauty wether its obvious beauty or not also every one has their own tastes what might not be 'fit' to some ppl others will think 'wow'! you can't please everyone, but just for the record your a good-looking chap!

Sunday 27 August 2006 - 10:00AM (BST)

It's a good photo Marty .... not that I find you attractive of course [ahem].

Sunday 27 August 2006 - 10:02AM (BST)

Hear Hear Marty.... I think a lot of people would have much happier lives if they could only be happy with what they are given in life....Alas we live in a world of glossy magazines with stick thin perferct looking individuals in them, and a majority of people think I want to look like THAT!!!.... (I was one of them once when very young) BUT!! not anymore what you see now is what you get....lol xx

Sunday 27 August 2006 - 10:04AM (BST) It is much better to see the real you and I think you have to realise that nobody else scrutinises and critises your picture ...that's your job...as it is mine when I'm looking at my own photos. I was very sceptical as wether to keep my new pic on or change back to my old one where I think I look better only because I know I didn't weigh as much when that was taken!! I'm still on that journey of learning to love myself but I'm getting there bit by bit and as I like to think of it....a long and tiresome journey can only increase one's satisfaction once it is travelled.

Loved "the scribblings" as usual, they lift me up, especially at this time. xx

Sunday 27 August 2006 - 10:31AM (BST)

As anamatuer photographer, your face would be an excellent subject, to do, using a varied and unusual lighting aspects.As for the boss let him write his own suck-holing letters, I'd never do one for him..........

Sunday 27 August 2006 - 03:20AM (PDT)

Marty I know where you are coming from and I can empathise heartily - I don't put my photo up for the very reason you state, that I don't consider myself photogenic - and I guess you have travelled much further along the path of being happier with how you look than I have...

it will all come in time.

Sunday 27 August 2006 - 12:02PM (BST)

I don't like to comment on the way people look too much. The people I find unattractive are ugly inside. It shows on the outside. You seem really friendly here so that makes you attractive in my world!
And that speeding fine thing. I'd have probably not been so kind as you. I would have asked him how he managed to pass his test in the first place. I haven't done so but I know all the speed limits and everything. You can't use that as an excuse when, if you drive, you ought to know the limits anyway. It's all the same really.

Sunday 27 August 2006 - 07:21PM (BST)

Beauty is only skin deep the true beauty is the person inside

Sunday 27 August 2006 - 11:09PM (CEST)

Hey Marty, I love your scribblings. I was a sickly and scrawny kid growing up and didn't really have a lot of attention for my physical appearance. So I definitely identify with the self esteeem conundrums you talk about. Added to that was the fact that I grew up a minority in Sri Lanka, which meant that the smartest thing to do was to keep quiet and not be heard or noticed.

Quite like the parking ticket story. Made for a good laugh.

Sunday 27 August 2006 - 05:35PM (EDT)

Mary, there is NOTHNING wrong with you, your fine, brilliant and a great person! We all have worries about our appearance and self image, I should know too, being of the larger persuasion! We are who we are, and to me, its whats inside the person, the mind, the personailty and the persona that is far more important, I cannot understand people who constantly 'diet, have surgery and constantly pick fault with themselves, we are who we are, and really, we need to be viewing ourselves far more positively. What are our best bits, what are our gifts to others, what are our assets, the ones we have, (not the ones we pay lots of money for!) I stopped worrying about what I look like, I try to always present myself nicely, but being a nice person is for more important to me, and to prove the point I really don't worry, I use the naturist beaches here in Spain! being with a wonderful husband who has never ever made any negative comment about my appearance, quite the opposite in fact, does help! So, now, I have no worries on that score...be happy my friend x

Monday 28 August 2006 - 11:47AM (BST