7th September 2006

Well folks...
Here it is.... a video from Colonel. Now, I'm not best pleases with his presentation of this instructional. Damn chap is rather inclined to go off at tangents at times... no sense of customer service. If you want a better description on how to embed pictures, I recommend you take look at Sabiha's blog who has made an excellent presentation on how to do this.
Now.... hold on......... I don't want you to go clicking the start on the video yet until you have read the rest of my blog.... patience is needed here. Don't want the Colonel stealing a march on me so Marty ends up getting ignored.

So here's whats goin on in my world. I went to band last night and I'm 90% certain I'm going to continue playing. The M.D. offered me the 1st trombone chair provided I pick up and learn the slide trombone. So its a slide trombone I now have in my possession. Its just a case of learning the slide positions (all relative) and I should be well away with playing. I reckon part of the rest of the day will involved me practicing scales and the like.

Here is todays scribbling.......

Be careful how you address a Customs officer!

I spent around 8 years during the 1980's working as an Import Export Clerk at Ramsgate Harbour during the days of Sally Line “Roll on, Roll off” ferries to Dunkerque, France. I worked for 3 different shipping agents during that time. This work could be pretty gritty. It involved shift work and night/weekend call outs. I started well before computers were used in a office environment. The most technological item of equipment available to use was a telex machine. This was used to send and received shipping instructions of lorry loads of freight going back and forth through the port. Back in those days, all shipments had to be declared to Customs and Excise for VAT and duty purposes. My job was to (on a manual typewriter) complete the required documentation and calculate revenue to be paid on behalf of the importer, or provide appropriate shipping docs for freight to be exported.

During the very early 90's. The were many shipments through the UK on trucks through Europe carrying oil well equipment that was destined for Iraq. On occasion, I completed the required documents for some of those shipments. In most cases, an export license was required for this purpose which usually arrived with the shipment. On one occasion, the required license was not sent and the lorry was help up at the port. The inland agent/forwarder involved with this was really angry about the hold up. (I think he may have got away with it on previous occasions, but this time it was not overlooked by C&E). After some choice words by him to me, he decided to slam the phone down on me and call Customs and Excise directly. He got through to a senior officer and picked some particularly derogatory words to address such officer. As a result, I was summoned to the port warehouse to witness the seizing of 3 quarter of a million pounds worth of oil well and computer equipment in the name of the Crown. The Customs officer told me what he had been called, but I can't remember what it was now. I'd be surprised if the guy from the agent lasted longer than a week in his job or business. Customs officer were, and still believe are, some of the most powerful officials in the land. More so than police.

Oh yes... here he is.... The Colonel.. Please be respectful and up standing!

Comments

(22 total)

LOL that colonel guy is very clever and funny lol, loved the homer background noises. I did a similar blog but I don't have a fancy video camera lol, just a fancy cheap but chearful camera.

Thanks for the funny vlog though, and I will beware of customs officers, promise.

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 10:54AM (BST)

LMAO... let me just pick myself up off the floor!
Damn funny video that, very enjoyable.
And on the subject of Customs Officers.... why is it so differcult to walk drive past those guys when getting off the Ferry from france without looking guilty. I've lost count the number of times I've been stopped and had one of their sniffer dogs clambering around the car... i must look suspicious

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 11:09AM (BST)

Ooer, damn fine job I say Colonel.

LMAO, thanks Marty.. you made my day. One more minute and the waxed mushtach would have been on the floor...

Great edit work, the music.. Oscar for the music, Oscar for male misleading actor and one for the director.

Keep them comming!

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 06:05PM (IST)

Helloooooooo colonel... I say old chap damn fine job at that video blog....say what. LMAO!! really brill video Marty loved it. x

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 01:44PM (BST)

"stands and salutes the colonel" Well done SIR! Well done!
smile x

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 03:14PM (BST)

**Rolling on the Floor**

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 08:20PM (IST)

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 05:02PM (BST)

So you have to learn the slide trombone,Jolly good show. You will soon learn the slide positions if you make sure you have plenty of practice ------------- Fell sorry for Christine though lol

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 05:06PM (BST)

• WebMa…
• Offline

Yes Storm. Basic boning is my target for now. Had a go today. I'm not sure how co-ordinated I'd be yet to start raeding the dots yet. Tis gonna be fun.
Colonel replies........
Rainy - Mighty greatful m' dear.
Tim - (from Mart)funny how my blog seemed to link with your video share.
Scoob - Jolly good show! stand at ease.
Raj - TY, you are a fine and upstanding gentleman
Polar - whats the link to your video?

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 05:20PM (BST)

What a cheeky chappie this colonel is! wot? Sounds a bit like hes been out on the jolly old juice and had a little snifta before signing orn. Needs a bit of whipping into shape specially in the old chops department. Marty m'ld you get him down to the local barber shop quick sharp, that nasal hair needs a spot of tightening up - not regulation length donchaknow.
yours faithfuly,
Lady dormouse MSC,BSC (and bar bar bar....)

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 06:11PM (BST)

Going to see this vid in the morning, getting a shade late here now and Steve is watching the TV, but have high hopes of something good to start my day off tomorrow x

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 08:57PM (BST)

Hei Marty.

Colonel is a man of the military, hey?!! So one must stand for attention then, if of the lower rank. Hmm.
Interesting point about the addressing a custom's official - must remember. Take care. =)

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 10:52PM (CEST)

You loon... I still have no idea how to add the photo's, too busy laughing at the colonel! Will have to watch it again...and again...and...

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 10:02PM (BST)

Hey Marty matey, or is it colonel ? anyway cool video mate so funny and informative, everything a good sex education movie should be, what, oh was I watching the wrong video ?

Friday 8 September 2006 - 12:09AM (BST)

The Colonel rocks! Whose this Marty guy he was talking about?

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 06:56PM (CDT)

I loved the vid Marty. I liked the fact you used B & W and made it in the style of those old 1950's 'instructional' films that were endlessly churned out. Terrific. I agree with Anne...will have to watch again, as I was so engrossed with the delivery, I didn't take in the content lmao.

Friday 8 September 2006 - 02:30AM (BST)

Hysterically funny - but I will have to watch it again because I was laughing too hard to really pay attention.... oh well!! Oh, now I see Mitch said the same thing...So I guess the video was a HIT, Marty!!! Sorry, I mean, Colonel!

Thursday 7 September 2006 - 10:57PM (PDT)

Thanks. I needed a laugh!

Friday 8 September 2006 - 09:27AM (BST)

Jolly Spiffing show Old Chap, message received and understood, now its chocks away with Ginger and looking for Mr Cholmondley-Warner....TTFN Old Boy!

Friday 8 September 2006 - 01:54PM (BST)

Oh Marty this is classic. Cleese has GOT to see this.
I believe you've found your (erm.. the Colonel has) niche in instructional video.

*chortling at Kevin's comment*

Friday 8 September 2006 - 05:03PM (EDT)

This is wonderful....

Tuesday 12 September 2006 - 01:32PM (IST)

Hmmm anyone read the Globe and Mail lately found an interesting article

"Spam security brigade becoming image conscious"

As Marty is a former customs officer, maybe he can tell us what it means to have no technology and still catch the bad guys at the border. Bad guys who leave their home country to hurt people abroad then return home as a harmless bloak no one the wiser ?

Can those border dogs sniff out a drug free criminal ? The ones that walk the red light districts outside their home country ?

Perhaps this is why Tim has made the comment that he has such a time crossing the border in France lol, those dogs know their smelling something lol, they just haven't been trained to attack it yet !

Let us know what you think of the Globe and Mails latest article Marty I am looking forward to your comments...

Thursday 28 September 2006 - 09:01AM