How to overcome the imposter we call "failure"

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What we perceive other think of us is what forms the belief we have of ourselves.

We can look at failure in a different light. It could be described as successfully discovering what does not work thereby clearing the clutter. Eventually, we will be left with the inevitable. What DOES work!

This is very simplistically demonstrated in the little game I have embedded at the top of today's blog. With practice, concentration and focus you go through the process of picking cards that we think match. We make errors along the way until the board is completed. We may then choose to go to the next level. It's kinda fun and can be a a little addictive, yes? 

Every time we make a mistake in the game, we learn something and make an adjustment. If we chose not to click on any cards at all, how incredibly boring is that? Just staring at a bunch of face down cards!    

If you are looking to overcome so perceived fear of failure, the only way to do that is to "turn over the life challenge cards". Be prepared to make mistakes and choose to have fun with it. 

If you are going to play the card game above and someone is watching you, they might take an interest or they may not be at all bothered. 

Referring to my first sense on this blog; what others think of us is simply irrelevant to our journey to discovering our own truth. There is nothing wrong with seeking advice from others, but be aware that our journey is different from others. 

Other people may think they have the perfect answer for us. Chances are they are probably wrong in our case. 

Take the bits of advice and learning that are useful to you and discard that which is not. If others laugh and gossip about you as you move forward, that is up to them and frankly, not any of our business. 

Today's blog has been inspired by Douglas Cartwright "A

new philosophy about failure…?"

Mind Alchemy

Today's exercise is one that I highly recommend giving a try. It works for me and I've seen it work for others. There are many many different versions of it. Go try them and see which works best for you. Guided Visualisation works for many people. 

Recognising the "fall" as a step forward

Very often when our lives seem to be heading in a negative direction, we see it as a step backwards. We may feel that progress made previously has been negated. I have concluded that a perception such as this is faulty.

The challenges that we face serve to enhance the achievement when we get there. The harder and more painful the challenge, the greater the sense of achievement when the challenge is overcome. I was struck by the image of Ellen MacArthur who circumnavigated the globe single handed. Her video diary of opening cards and presents at Christmas whilst alone illustrated the emotional pain of loneliness whilst far from home. Surely, there would have been a strong desire to give up at that point, however it clearly was not an option. Compare that to the joy and elation she experienced when she finally completed the task.

I suggest that we need to visit and experience the dark places from time to time in order to continue to move forward. It enables us to solve the problem/puzzle. To become enlightened and to gain wisdom.

To illustrate this I created an exercise that I have used for groups:

• Holding a tennis ball at a height of just below the knee requires bending of the knee. Held for an extended period of time causes discomfort.

• Dropping the tennis ball causes it to bounce.

• Throwing the tennis ball at the ground will cause it to bounce high.

• Placing a bucket strategically on a shelf and aiming the tennis ball to bounce and land in the bucket achieves a goal. 

The purpose of this demonstration shows that if we fail to move  forward (particularly in challenging times of our life) we remain in discomfort.

Letting go will cause the experience of a fall. However hitting rock bottom will cause us to bounce back a little.

Sometimes, the fall will be swift and more painful when hitting rock bottom, but the subsequent rebound can take us a little higher.

If we know we are heading for some sort of fall, by setting a goal on the inevitable  rebound, it is very possible that we will achieve that goal. Sometimes we will miss it, but with more determination and focus, we can get closer and eventually achieve the goal.

Every attempt is a step forward. Don't be too disappointed at missing the goal. If we give up, we remain in pain and discomfort. 

I'm very aware that it is all too easy to see and understand this when everything is going well. A bad place such as depression causes blindness to positive thought processes. I've been there and know it all too well. So, when trying to help others, it is important to be patient and kind whilst gently offering encouragement and support. Tread cautiously and express love.

Continued blessings to you all.......

Marty