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Marty's "Living life in chapters" A self development blog: 10/8/06 - 10/15/06

Marty's "Living life in chapters" A self development blog

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Global Mariner

Hi Folks,

Well... Its just another day for me at work. All has been fine and dandy, I have to say.

Its been very warm here the last couple of days and I feel we are still in this "Indian Summer". Apart from a couple of cooler days last week, I'm still wandering around outside in shirt sleeves. Its making me very tired.

Anyway, heres an interesting scribble, particularly for any seafaring folk out there.

Global Mariner

Year 2000.

This was the year that I gave up playing in a brass band for 6 years. At that time, I was playing Baritone for the Betteshanger Welfare Band in Deal, Kent.

During that year, the band was asked to play on board a ship at East India Dock in London, close to Canary Wharf and right opposite The Millenium Dome. The ship “Global Mariner” had just completed a circumnavigation over a 2 year period. The purpose of the trip was to promote awareness of the “Flags of Convenience” issue. (My knowledge of this is limited, but it has to do with seafaring danger and cost cutting in the maritime.) This was the second time our band had played on this ship (the first time being just before the journey round the world 2 years before.) Millions had been spent on this trip and this second band gig we had, celebrated the success of the ships voyage.

It was a cold March day. On deck on the river Thames, the sharp wind cut through our lightweight band uniforms, however, forethought of the organisers allowed 2 large space heaters to raise the temperature to something reasonable whilst we played.

Now, when I say reasonable, for me this was extreme because I was sat right in from of one of those heaters and I was roasting! Its interesting… the heat plays some funny tricks on a brass instrument. The effect it had for me was to make the Baritone so out of tune it was almost a whole tone sharp and I stopped playing for fear of the dreadful noise I was making in the middle of the band. I pulled out every tuning slide, but still, this made no difference.

All in all, it was a good day out. There was a lot on entertainment on this former freight ship, not the least for the curry cooked for everyone in the hold as part of the party. I reckon they must have fed around 500 people.

Some months later, I pick up a newspaper and caught sight of a headline and picture of “The Global Mariner”. After the ship had completed its round the world trip, a decision was made to put it back into service. The maiden voyage took Global Mariner to Venezuela.

It is a great irony that Global Mariner, having spent 2 years going round the world and docking at many different harbour’s in many different countries promoting safe seafaring, finally met its end in a collision with another ship “Atlantic Crusader”. Global Mariner sank in Matanzas harbour, Orinoco River, Venezuela.

Some links relating to the ship


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Interesting little story Marty. You must be having it nicer there than we are here its definitely not short sleeve weather here, we have had loads of rain and it isnt very warm either, grumble moan grumble.
Glad your sounding better mate.

Thursday 12 October 2006 - 05:59PM (BST)

Well Marty, I have to comment on this blog, wht a lovely ship. I have been into boats of all kinds most of my life. Just as some folks see and appreciate the lovely lines and designs of cars or aeroplanes for examlpe I appreciate the same in boats. This one really looks something special - A pity it met its end in this way. Great possitve memories, thanks for putting it on. Have you decided about the band yet? --Roy--

Thursday 12 October 2006 - 06:13PM (BST)

hey Kevin, send that rain down under, will ya please? We need as much as we can get right now, and you have an abundance......
Marty, your sinking ship story brought a tear to my eye,as it reminded me that my Grandfather was a merchant navy Commodore,before retiring to a lighthouse keeping position in New Zealand........

Thursday 12 October 2006 - 01:04PM (PDT)

Interesting story Marty. The bit about the space heaters is funny. I have this image of you sitting in a deckchair in shorts and sunglasses while everyone else is wrapped up in overcoats, shivering. LOL.
It's a shame what happened to her. You displayed a fine sense of irony with your choice of vid.

Thursday 12 October 2006 - 09:27PM (BST)

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Greetings fellow bloggers!

Well, what a couple of days. If anything has come out of this, I've
noticed that my PC is suddenly running much better on the internet. A
couple of days ago, I was getting very slow responses to page views,
particularly on 360 (that didn't happen via the PC at work). Since I've
re-installed the modem drivers, everything else seems to work fine now.

I've just got back from town having picked up some new carpet for the girls room and a replacement telephone. All it has proved is that there is still a problem with getting a dial tone. Internet is fine, for some weird reason.

The Karaoke discs I ordered arrived this morning. I'm really impressed. 10 cdg disks with over 70 songs on them in a nice carry case and a list of all the songs in alphabetical order printed out for me. All this for £35! Thats just over £3 per disk. Its got all the good old traditional Karaoke songs on too.

Now.... The Colonel got very excited when he saw the Karaoke machine. He's always fancied himself at treading the boards. Bit of Gilbert & Sullivan never went amis. The Mikado, Pirates of Penzance and such like. So..... here's a little taster of your friend and mine!


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Well Done! Thats a vast improvement on the Elvis version of that as far as I'm concerned! Glad to see all is tickety boo now, chocks away Ginger....

Wednesday 11 October 2006 - 02:19PM (BST)

Jolly good Colonel, Jolly good. Its good to see you old chap.. Elvis will be jealous I'm sure. Toodle loo... pip pip and all.. Cheerio old chap.

Wednesday 11 October 2006 - 08:34PM (IST)

Colonel you look like a kid playing and trying to learn how to use a mic for the first time with a big smile, yeah true. You did it in a very natural manner. Please keep up the good work.

Wednesday 11 October 2006 - 11:41PM (CST)

I haven't heard much Elvis songs...Seen one program oh his biography..Hmmmmmmmm

Wednesday 11 October 2006 - 10:04PM (IST)

My pc has been running slow and i can't figure it out!I cleaned out the drive and that helped some but geez,I go to comment on a page and it takes forever to adjust..Anyhow,A new karoake machine? Sing it Baaaby!! LOL. *hugs*

Wednesday 11 October 2006 - 09:54AM (PDT)

Yay welcome back colonel old fruit. You seem to be doing a bit better Marty, I'm glad.

Wednesday 11 October 2006 - 10:41PM (BST)

have fun with your new toy, we don't have a karaoke machine, but we do have a singing game for the ps2 which we've had great fun with, i'm meant to be the tone deaf one in the family but i've beaten the kids many a time on this game.

Wednesday 11 October 2006 - 11:16PM (BST)

Completely & utterly nuts .... LOVE IT!!! Great rendition there! What does the colonel do for an encore, I must wonder?

Wednesday 11 October 2006 - 11:39PM (BST)

Yay Karaoke!! Can I have a go pleeeeeeeeeeease? Well done colonel (applause) didn't know you had it in ya old chap.... me thinks Marty might be pretty good on the karaoke ;) .xx

Wednesday 11 October 2006 - 11:40PM (BST)

Hey? you funny man?? You are too..much? I love your Blog? Great? Thank for your "LOVE"? Your comment means the world to me? Thank you?? Hugs?? Kiss??? Ruth

Wednesday 11 October 2006 - 09:39PM (ADT)

Thanks for the song, how about a rap?? LOL

Thursday 12 October 2006 - 09:17PM (BST)

lololololol Big round of applause for the colnel!!!! All that and not a bit of the old tonsil lubricater in sight WELL

Thursday 12 October 2006 - 09:46PM (BST)

ooooo i love that's not me saying that i can sing in anyway but i do love to grab the mic and belt out 'love shack' by the B52's.
I was not blessed with the voice of an angel i think i got my vocal talent from my Dads side of the family coz no one there can hold a tune either. My Mum and Aunty Janette can always pull off Bobbys Girl or Stoopid Cupid and my Mums favourite seems to be oh erm....what is it called again i think it's 'Please Stay' and it always brings a tear to my eye when she has a few vodkas and gives us a song.
Happy singing Marty and i hope the family is well and you let them have a shot of the kareoke aswell. xxx

Friday 13 October 2006 - 08:46AM (CEST)

Colonel. Always a pleasure to hear from you. Tell Marty to get better soon, that old windbag. I wish he'd let you get a little more time with us. He likes to hog the limelight a bit doesn't he?

You can tell him I said that.

Saturday 14 October 2006 - 11:09AM (EDT)

LOL Marty...that was just too much. My daughter got a karoke machine a few years ago, but I can't carry a tune tied up in a paper sack... thanks for sharing.

Sunday 15 October 2006 - 06:14PM (EDT)

Monday, October 09, 2006

Short Story

Not so much a story, as a rant in the realisation today in therapy that I have past experiences to work through for my long term health. I'm ok, by the way folks, and I'm on the road to dealing with all this stuff.

“Gravity is working against me and gravity wants to bring me down. “

(Reflections on my job before its end. Yr.2000)

Why is everyone against me? I’ve given my all and have nothing left to give. I thought you liked me Gravity. I thought you respected me. You encouraged me. You praised me. You stood up for me when others sought to bring me down. I did everything you asked of me, and more. I respected you too.

You see, I was a guy of limited confidence, but plenty of ambition. In the past, I’ve been knocked down, but I’ve got up again to fight another day. I admit I sought your praise for the purposes of some self gratification and the need for my own self esteem. I was good at what I did and you know that, so why are you now abandoning me? I told you some while ago that I’d too much on my plate and needed assistance, but you chose to ignore that, I guess because of your own personal problems. I’m hurting bad and I’m suffering. Right now my self confidence is rock bottom, yet you still seek to verbally kick me. Can you not see that I am already battered and bruised? Where is your integrity? If you saw a man drowning in a river, would you really just walk on by as opposed to throwing that rope as a life line?

I can’t help wondering why you have spent so much time and effort creatively building the sculpture that is me, only to destroy it like some piece of junk you now no longer have a use for. It seems to me that you treat your staff like you treat the cars you sell. High performance cars that are driven to their limit and beyond, maintained for a while and discarded in favour of a shiny new model that befits an over inflated ego. Can you not see that I am a person, not just a widget to be played with until boredom sets in, then discarded when broken.

I see now that my appeals are futile. You have made up your mind and made your stance. I have no fight left in me, so I bow to your victory and I accept my defeat. I shall go now as you request and leave you to you own devices and desires. I see no change in you, so it is me who will have to adapt.

Gravity is a scientific fact that cannot be changed. It can only be avoided by leaving the environment to a place where it no longer has an effect.

Footnote: There is an anagram in the word “Gravity” that equals the name of my former boss “Gary”. A realisation in the process of writing the above.


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Marty, your rants are very powerful because you put so much of yourself in them.
I also am going through a self discovery process having to do with a lot of things that happened in my past. I along with my family were was kicked out of our native homeland when I was 14. I grew up those initial years with the distinct message that I was less than and did not belong.

The other thing I always feel is an urge to stand up and applaud your courage for being able to be so forthright with your feelings. I love these kinds of posts and I hope you keep writing through your discovery process.

Monday 9 October 2006 - 10:40AM (EDT

Once again Marty brilliant, powerful, evocative stuff, I can so relate to the feelings you are expressing, of course with me it wasnt a job and a boss but you know that. Although at that time you felt there was no fight left in you in these writings your words show that there is now plenty of fight in you and that you are a strong person who will in the end defeat their demons and regardless of what life tries to do to bring you down you will survive and in the end thrive. Your an inspiration mate, thank you simply for being you.

Monday 9 October 2006 - 05:31PM (BST)

Wow Marty a powerful piece indeed.
I really felt the emotion, you portrayed it so well.
I think Kev has it right, you are an inspiration, the way you are so forthright and honest about your emotions and the way you prtray them in your writing is just fantastic.
I love these sorts of blogs from you because I see a little more of you each time, you share a little more of who you are with each piece. Thank you Marty for sharing this. Bless you.xx

Monday 9 October 2006 - 07:29PM (BST)

I am left with not much to say, as the other commentaters have covered almost all the positive aspects, so I'll just pass on a message of support........

Monday 9 October 2006 - 12:19PM (PDT)

and the point is..... I wish I'd had the courage to say those things at the time, albeit, they are much more reflective thoughts, and many of them a long time after the event. I'm not sure it would have made any difference and in some ways would have ended with me being dismiised rather than the negotiated redundancy I was able to negotiate.

Monday 9 October 2006 - 08:40PM (BST)

ooops negotiate in the same sentence..... LOL

Monday 9 October 2006 - 08:41PM (BST)

I think everyone has things at times which they wish to have said but never thought of. & probably that would have been good to assert yourself, but at the same time as you say, may not have made much of a difference. But again it's good to write down those comments down here, because it's great to get it out into the open. Writing thoughts & fears down is good therapy in itself! You're doing great Marty! Am proud of ya!

Monday 9 October 2006 - 09:21PM (BST)

You weren't ready to say those things then... the fact is you can now see those experiences for what they were... and as painful and difficult as some of your past may be.. in the end you are becoming stronger...and I'm sure that in a similar situation now, you would handle things differently. You are growing. Just as you should. To everything there is a season...

Monday 9 October 2006 - 05:05PM (EDT)

Hei Marty.

Very thought-provoking indeed so tis.
What comes to my mind also, is the media and the like that 'pump up' the people they want to make into a famous 'something' 'til at some point they turn against them and viciously pull 'em down to nothing and many times even worse than they ever were before they were so-called well-known persons! Posh n Becks come to mind, for example.

Take care. Keep well. Have a grand week. =)

Tuesday 10 October 2006 - 12:28AM (CEST)

I agree with Pamela. Healing can only be achieved by acknowledging the hurt, the anger, the bitterness. By putting the words to the page, you have in effect said, they are no longer inside me, they can no longer hurt me. They are now past, and I move forward.

Tuesday 10 October 2006 - 01:39AM (BST)

Seems that this effort gave you an opportunity for some soul-searching and a catharsis, Marty. Good stuff!

Tuesday 10 October 2006 - 03:42PM (EST)

Sad to see that you still haven't found a solution of the bad job situation. Actually, it is tragic. Well, Marty, take heart. Love, EC

Tuesday 10 October 2006 - 08:48AM (CEST)

Sometimes accepting a failure of defeat is a win.. and in this situation it was a definite win! You won your self esteem back by leaving that what did nothing but to continue to beat you down.. so although in the sense of some folks eyes it may have appeared to be defeat, in all actuality it was a victory! Great stuff!

Tuesday 10 October 2006 - 07:59AM (CDT)

Very well written and heart spoken :o)

Tuesday 10 October 2006 - 11:49AM (CDT)

This spoke to me personally in the difficult times when we all feel abandoned

Thursday 12 October 2006 - 06:56PM (CDT)

This spoke to me personally in the difficult times when we all feel abandoned

Thursday 12 October 2006 - 07:00PM (CDT)

I really liked this blog, so I thought I would comment. I also like your background pics too. Hope you are keeping well now.

Thursday 9 November 2006 - 11:11AM (GMT)


Hi folks

I've just got back from my first therapy session. I felt pretty comfortable with it and talked about quite a lot of things. I guess this has brought me to realise that I have a lot going on in my head that potentially affects me on a emotional level. In fact at one point I did get pretty emotional during the session.
Its quite interesting that I got some homework to do before going back next week. This is stuff that I'm quite comfortable with. One element is diary writing, which of course I do anyway on here.

I've signed up for a 6 month membership at a new fitness centre that JJB Sports are opening shortly at Westwood Cross. Works out at just under £20 per month. It would have been £26 per month, but I got student discount. I decided to pay the six month membership up front. Proves my student card comes in pretty useful, even though I'm only at college 3 hours per week. The centre looks pretty good from the advert. It has a heated pool, exercise bikes, sauna, sunbeds and various other related things one would find at such a place. Its not opening till November and I've got an induction day for it on 10th Nov. I really looking forward to this now and fancy getting a fair amount of swimming in during the winter. Maybe this will get me back in to running again soon.

Here is a scribble, lifted from a longer piece I'm writing. I've seperated this one from it.

School days – Corporal punishment.

The all boys school I attended during the mid 70’s at age 11 was pretty strict. It had to be because most lads that got expelled from other schools in the area got sent there. We had quite a rough mix, but the teachers were good at handling it. Most of the teachers would dish out corporal punishment, something that is now banned in schools. My feelings about this are mixed. I can see both sides of the story. Here is an amusing little event that occurred.

A very good friend of mine, and an excellent musician, frequently got into trouble. He never attend school detention and would always end up being caned. One particular day, the deputy head teacher pondered the situation and had a question for him.

“Young man, it seems this happens very frequently with you. Almost every Monday morning, I here you name called out in assembly because you have failed to get to class on time, or some other misdemeanour. As a result, you are given detention as punishment, but low and behold, you fail to comply with this and I end up, yet again, having to administer the cane to you. Why do you put yourself through this?”

He replied “Well sir, I’ve far more important things to do such as practicing my Euphonium”.

The teacher thought about this reasonably intelligent answer and said.

“Yes, I can understand your dedication to your music and its pleasing to see someone showing some clear commitment. It’s an admirable quality that I like to see in my students. Bend over laddie!


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Fittness aarggh noooooo.
Anyway now I've got that out of my system, glad your session went well, it can sometimes be quite an emotional experiance cant it, I have found that a fair bit during mine, I go to my next appointment this evening at 4:00 pm.
We had corporal punishment at my old school when I was young, the cane wasnt used very much though, I dont think our head was a lover of it. Dtention we did have and I have to admit that for quite some time the teacher who ran detention used to save a place for me up front and wondered where I was if I wasnt there, ooh I'm a bad boy.

Monday 9 October 2006 - 01:55PM (BST)

Luckily punishment was out before i hit my "Wild Side" as for Detention, to this day I hold the record of person in detention most.(my old dear friend Mr. Principal told me not long ago).. Bless their hearts I was the only one In Detention ALLOWED to speak, i was in there so much he refused to have me sit quietly for a school year...LOL Lots of luck with therapy & the gym :-)

Monday 9 October 2006 - 08:21AM (CDT)

Marty, congrats on your 6month commitment to the gym! As a personal trainer I have to say, it was a great choice and a great investment in yourself. And a brand new gym! That'll be great! Glad to hear therapy went well. You are certainly on a roll.... hip hip hooray for you. Big pat on the back and all that. You're worth it, and by investing in yourself, you'll have that much more to offer your family and friends when they need you.
Don't believe in corporal punishment myself, but there does need to be a middle line, teachers here have no authority at all anymore and the students know it.

Monday 9 October 2006 - 05:00PM (EDT)

Glad you had a good session.. and physical execercise works the mind to! Great choice!
Funny story too by the way! Corporal punishment.. well i will leave that one alone! LOL! So debateable and has its good and bad depending on admistration.. lol

Tuesday 10 October 2006 - 08:07AM (CDT)

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Making some headway

Thie image above comes out of the word "progression" when I "Yahoo imaged" it, or I suppose you could call that "Yamaged" as opposed to "Googled" LOL.

Its been another interesting night shift with the moon still bright in the sky. I've had a long chat with a lad tonight who has been opening up to me a lot recently. Its one of the lads who came to the Alpha night with me last week and he told me how impressed he was with what I had said in my speech and how that had affected him and encouraged him. I was really pleased with this (whilst being aware that making progress with these lads is hit and miss).

The lad can't wait to continue on the Alpha course and has asked me about it every day that I have been at work. I'm just waiting now for a proper start date for it that should happen within the week. The task ahead is to help this lad to build his future on a rock foundation.

This experience has lifted me, particularly because I've found its been really hard to break through to these guys personally in the last year to the point where I've almost thrown it in recently. Getting positive feedback has done wonders for me tonight and increased my faith to a great degree. I've had one of those "Now THATS what I do this job for" moments. Just got the rest of the night to go through now, then I'm off shift for a few days till Thursday.

Everyone is tagging at the moment. I don't usually do these very often and don't name anyone else to do it, but here is something I did a months ago where I was pretty anonymous. I'm not gonna look back at the old blog , but rethink it now.


  1. Lycos Chat
  2. Pro Evolution Soccer on the Playstation 2
  3. Age of Empires game
  4. Trying (and failing) to create a website using Dreamweaver
  5. Sonic The Hedgehog on The Sega Megadrive
  6. "Googling" random words when bored, just to see what came up
  7. Pacman
  8. Galaxians (phew, that was many 10 pence pieces and years ago)
  9. My Atari ST when it first came out that had 1 whole megabite of RAM!
  10. The Game "Elite" that I played on my Atari ST.
  11. Standard pinball that comes in games with Windows.
  12. The Rubik cube (ok, so its not computer related)
  13. Yahoo Newsgroups
  14. and of course, currently, Yahoo 360 blogging!

Here's one for the girls (and one I like too, although I couldn't find "still" that I could embed) Just look at that 70's big hair!!!


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Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Lionel Richie!! Thanks, Marty. I really love this song!

But I really have to go try Googling random words...c ya later!

Saturday 7 October 2006 - 07:26PM (PDT)

I see that I still have a lot to learn - not that I didn't know it ... Love, EC

Sunday 8 October 2006 - 06:34AM (CEST)

Hey Marty glad you seem to have rediscovered what your work is "all about" for you. There is such a change in the tone of your blogs now, things have really turned around for you?
I'm sorry I haven't been about much to comment on your blogs (although I will go back and read them at some point).
I always think of you, I'm still struggling at the mo, but hope to be BACK on track soon.
Take care and I'll be back soon.xx

Sunday 8 October 2006 - 11:04AM (BST)

This song reminds me of my departed beloved father Marty, it is a beautifull song that brings back many happy memories of me dancing with him to this. And like Rainy your blogs lately have been upbeat and chirpy maybe its because you have your focus and faith back in your job? Or maybe its just that you have at last given yourself the break that you

Sunday 8 October 2006 - 01:29PM (BST)

Hi Marty - I too worked with troubled youth. I think it good to remember PLANTING A SEED is a job well done! Perhaps the client may not use the imput until much later in life, but the seed is planted and available. Regards, Carol

Sunday 8 October 2006 - 12:08PM (EDT)

Oh my goodness., you missed out "Tetris" on those list of computer addictions! When I found that I don't think I managed to get off it without the battery dying on the gameboy!

& fantastic to hear you are getting better & better each time! You're a strong & intelligent guy, & I know you'll be progressing to a more optimistic outlook continuously now! Good for you! *smiles*

Sunday 8 October 2006 - 05:56PM (BST)

Hi Marty sorry havent been here to comment over the weekend mate, have my lads over the weekend, its the only time I have them usually so I like to make the most of it and it makes spending any real time on 360 difficult. Good to hear your feeling a little better about your job, hope the lad gets a new start from the Alpha course. Dont feel bad about the drunk girl Marty you tried to help and you can only help someone if they want to be helped. I dont do tags myself, I find it difficult to answer a lot of them and tend to leave them alone.

Sunday 8 October 2006 - 10:20PM (BST)

Marty it's great that you are available to people who really need to be heard. What a gift you give to others. Also enjoyed the video. That song just takes me back to a time and place in life....
ah well. Thanks for sharing.

Sunday 8 October 2006 - 07:04PM (EDT)

hey Marty great blog??

Sunday 8 October 2006 - 10:04PM (ADT)

It does do so much for you when you see the light come on in some one elses eyes does it not?

Sunday 8 October 2006 - 08:21PM (CDT)

Hey Marty.. thanks for doing tag in blog.. lol.. I am not one big on them either and do the same thing when all possible! LOL!
I am glad to hera the more upbeat tone in your writing.. does my heart good...
With the recent genderswitch game we were playing I have gotten behing in my blog reading so trying to catch up.. so sorry I haven't been around for a minute.. catching up now!
Hugs to you and yours!

Monday 9 October 2006 - 01:02AM (CDT)

Your Picture Reminds me Of Speed As In Car Air Disperse meant ,
Like It.

Monday 9 October 2006 - 07:49AM (BST)

love this picture, and the word yamaged

Tuesday 10 October 2006 - 12:26AM (BST)