Honour the memory those who touched our lives, no longer with us

"HEY MAN"

Bereavement causes such a powerful emotion of sadness. It is very much something that needs to be worked through.

How can we move forward in our lives without the sadness contaminating the rest of what we have?

The process is well written about but for me, the most important part is to treasure the precious memories of fun and happiness.

I lost a few people in my life last year, one in very tragic circumstances. To that end, I wrote with the assistance of the guys from the band Beggars' Belief a song in tribute to this dear friend, remembering the fun, laughter and good times we had. 
The song starts with a single bar of solo trombone melancholy, followed by a foot tapping, upbeat and uplifting tune. 

I miss my pal, but choose to remember the good times we had that invariably involved real belly laughing that brought tears to our eyes. 
Now THAT is a powerful healer folks! 
Check out our song "Hey Man" below and see if the words relate to anyone you have known and lost. 
Take care folks.

Back in the hole

It's that place again that plagues my life. I get frustrated when people do not appear to understand, but I think the real problem is that I just don't understand it myself. Sadness, anger, fear, shame, guilt, terror, exhaustion, all those feeling surround me. I'm on leave from work this week, but somehow I feel like I'm off sick.
The "D" word is still the big taboo. I've tried talking to certain people about it in the hope there will be some sort of understanding, but people just don't want to hear it. I hear the "we are all concerned about you" kind of reply but it doesn't help. It just leaves me feeling that I'm a burden and a disappointment. I'm mainly keeping quiet this time and playing along with the taboo. If I could change how it is in a flash, I would, but that is just not possible. It's not within my power. In the mean time, there is the responsibility that I carry. As always, I don't know where things will end up other than yet another major disappointment and a return the the starting line. Maybe that won't happen, but it still worries me.
I've tried not looking back, but those experiences in my life always seem to torment me at times like this and each time there is yet another event to add to that long list. I'm going to have another go at working back through it right from the very beginning with some help. It's a prospect that frightens me to the core and I sense it's going to be very painful. I want to believe its going to work this time, but I fear it wont. I don't really think I have any choice.
When will this latest bout end I wonder?