Practice effective communication

So much trouble is caused in this world due to miscommunication. It can be something quite simple such as "Can you deliver this to........ for me?" I say yes and later discovered that the item to be delivered was within the case, needing the case to be returned which I didn't do. This happened to me last week. It was no major drama, but it occurred for 1 of 2 reasons (or both). 

1. The instruction was not explicit. It involved assumption on behalf of the speaker.... possibly!

2. I did not listen carefully enough. I made an assumption and did not question the instruction. In truth I was a little distracted by what was for me a more pressing matter. The favour I agreed to was (if I'm honest) a bit of an irritation, but in the spirit of teamwork I agreed.

Clarification of the instruction did not occur.

A few years ago I attended a training course in conflict resolution. At that time, part of my role was Customer Services Manager in the motor trade. 
On the second day of the training, 2 volunteers was asked to stand up and speak on a subject of their choice for 5 minutes. The rest of the class were asked to take notes followed by the tutor asking questions about the content.

Yes, you guessed it. I chose to speak for 5 minutes about brass bands!

I picked up 2 important lessons from this exercise. I noticed that the tutor asked questions about my subject that I felt he had misunderstood.

1. Did he listen carefully enough?
2. Did I explain myself well enough?

Bearing in mind last weeks episode, it appears I need to focus a little more on listening and getting clarification! 

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Mind Alchemy
Today's work speaks about the benefits of meditation and relaxation. I find that meditation works particularly well after free writing because it helps to clear the mind of clutter. I'm practising relaxations and meditation on a daily basis now and I find it really does help. 
In the guided relaxation/meditation classes I run, I like to allow people to ask for what they want in their lives in their minds. (This occurs at the most relaxed state). More importantly, I remind folk that they also have to opportunity to listen for the answers, either consciously or sub-consciously. 
If you are engaging in daily meditation, I recommend including this in your session. I believe it can have real benefits.  

Today's blog is inspired by a blog by The Loving Path.

How networking increases support, encouragement, motivation and energy

I had the great privilege of meeting Jane Gould from GB Job Clubs,  a registered charity and new exciting project to help address the unemployment of vulnerable and socially excluded people. It is meetings such as these that we can discover common interests and common purpose. 

Seeking the answers to aspects of our lives can appear complicated at times, however, simply meeting and networking with people allows us gain new insights. We can discover positive influences, encouragement and recognition. Everybody seeks to know they are valued in some way. It confirms that we actually exist!

I've come to realise in the last year or so that networking is something I'm quite good at. This really became apparent when completing a learning styles questionnaire last year. It's always been there, I just simply didn't have the confidence to be myself to believe it until recently.

I've been part of many forums online as well as face to face meetings in organisations. There have been support networks such as BullyOnLine. Chat sites such as Lycos Chat (now renamed), or simply just online games where communication is possible. All of these were fun in themselves, but they can be far more useful if we choose to discover how the links can provide new wisdom and practical possibilities to find new hobbies or a new job, or ways of making money. The possibilities are unending. 

How often do you meet somebody new in these circumstances and discover an apparent co-incidental link. Maybe that is common friends, a common life experience, the fact you may have visited the same places. There are even incidences of people discovering long lost family or rediscovering old friends that they have lost contact with. It can also be the person that has the skills or contacts to help us achieve our objectives.

Some networks I've been with, I've also moved on from when I've felt the time is right. I guess that is partly why I title my blog "Living Life in Chapters". The reason for moving on is that sometimes, a connection can hold us back. An example of this for me was when I moved on from the forum BullyOnLine. There are in networks at different levels. Sometimes, paying too much attention to how our negative experiences relate to others can cause us to focus in a backward manner and perhaps fall back into old, unhelpful patterns. 

I see this in groups. I've also illustrated this with a scene from the film "Apocolypto" (Music by James Horner). There is a scene where slaves who are heading for sacrifice are literally yoked together. Whilst travelling along the edge of a ravine, the weakest of the group falls off the edge causing the rest of the group to be in danger of falling with the weak and injured man. The guard for the group does not allow any other guards to help the group recover. He simply observes to see what happens. The majority of the group look to the strongest to help them back onto the ridge. None of them look down. All look up, focussing on recovering. Eventually they do recover and the guard cuts weakest loose, then pushing him off the edge. 

Relating this to a group or network, it is essential to we look toward the strongest and not to the weakest. The weakest, as part of the network is, in any case, already yoked to us. Occasionally, the weakest needs to be cut free to find a more appropriate support group. The example in the film Apocolypto is extreme in that the weakest falls to his death. I'm not suggesting that cutting free from the weakest results in death, only that the person can fit somewhere else more useful for them at their level. It causes a sense of loss but the separation in the best result for the majority. 

So, to summerize. 

• You can choose to make the most of networking with people in order to learn. This can have intellectual, spiritual and financial benefits for us.

•  Frequently, there is a time to move on.

•  To repeat an acronym I created last year. Good and useful "MEETings" are most effective when there is Motivation, Encouragement, Empowerment and Trust. 

If you have not seen the film Apocolypto, I recommend getting it or going to see it. Here is the trailer.