Choosing our reality

attribution: Jon Bragg

This blog is a reaction to Day 18 of Mind Alchemy “My reality is not your reality”. Steven made an excellent analogy in his post regarding the movie “The Matrix”. It is a film I chose to watch in it fullness only a couple of weeks ago.

When I have experienced an emotion, I generally think of it as something that that I passively receive. I've been challenged today in Mind Alchemy to.... lets see …... I'll describe it as “change the polarity” of the process.

I've read quite a bit relating to this subject recently. Today's exercise of running a movie in our minds of passed experiences for a specific process brought in a lot of emotion that felt uncomfortable. When it is uncomfortable, it feels like I am passively receiving it. Gradually, as I worked through the process, that feeling of discomfort lessened a little.

Running these movies about old experiences has for me had quite a negative effect in the past. I find the discomfort difficult to handle. It has pulled me down into depression when I think back to those episodes. The more I fought to reject these “movies” the more they came. I now realise that there is a reason for this. Click here to read the rest.

Are you a Perfectionist

photo credit: az1172
I've been thinking more about this subject recently. A few years ago I described myself as a perfectionist (or at least an aspiring perfectionist) and I thought it somewhat noble. I discovered that there are great dangers in this attitude to life. The whole concept is..... click here to read the rest

It is Valentines day. How about "Agape?"

photo credit: Jorbasa

How do you respond when someone leave you with a message "Love" with a few crosses?

I've often done this when writing email type messages to friends. On one occasion, a dear friend was a little concerned. I think that she maybe thought I was making amorous overtures to her!

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I've now moved  my blog to Wordpress under a new domain. I will continue to post a leader of my blog on here for a while to come with a link to the full post at my new site (which is faster!) Click here to read the rest.

Letting go your Outcomes - The pinball effect

Picture courtesy of The Smithsonian institution http://www.flickr.com/photos/smithsonian/2940633609/

Check out an interesting blog on this Cassiopeia
 
Day 12 of Mind Alchemy and the discussion is around letting go.

On the surface of it, this concept seems somewhat against what we want to achieve, however it is about balance and using energy appropriately. It is also about allowing space to grow. There are many metaphors to explain this.


As a young lad I loved to go into amusement arcades and play the many games. I was attracted by the flashing lights and sounds. It was the excitement and atmosphere that was so attractive to me. Long before we had personal computers, I'd throw my 10 pence coins into computer games. 

Playing pinball was always a game I loved. The challenge of betting more lights up and scoring higher. Getting extra balls and replays. Sometimes the game would be frustrating. I'd so want to achieve that high score, but the balls would simply tumble down the centre or side channels all too quickly. The tension and angst I'd feel would have me putting coin after coin into the machine. 

Some days, I'd look at my watch and know I needed to be somewhere. Playing around in the arcade was just killing time. Playing that last game, I'd be relaxed, not worried about the outcome. And yes, you guessed it because I know you have had similar experiences. All of a sudden a multitude of extra balls come along and the score goes up, the lights flash and many replays occur! The times I've just had to leave!

The point of this is being relaxed and not crushing the goal or outcome. I'm convinced there is some sort of law of the universe that comes in to play here. 

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Another more profound example occurred for me a few years ago when I tried running my own business in network marketing. I got so much into the hype of what I was doing, I smashed it to pieces and burned out. I was ill for some months after that and it took a long long time to recover. 

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To that end, there is the day 5 exercise of Mind Alchemy that I have yet to finish. I will do it. Possibly later today. I'm aware that it would be foolish of me to put myself under too much pressure. I'm comfortable with having done most of it and maybe I've done enough of it to have the desired effect. I'll only know that when I go back to it. 
I've learned to trust in my gut feeling or intuition on these matters. 

Practice effective communication

So much trouble is caused in this world due to miscommunication. It can be something quite simple such as "Can you deliver this to........ for me?" I say yes and later discovered that the item to be delivered was within the case, needing the case to be returned which I didn't do. This happened to me last week. It was no major drama, but it occurred for 1 of 2 reasons (or both). 

1. The instruction was not explicit. It involved assumption on behalf of the speaker.... possibly!

2. I did not listen carefully enough. I made an assumption and did not question the instruction. In truth I was a little distracted by what was for me a more pressing matter. The favour I agreed to was (if I'm honest) a bit of an irritation, but in the spirit of teamwork I agreed.

Clarification of the instruction did not occur.

A few years ago I attended a training course in conflict resolution. At that time, part of my role was Customer Services Manager in the motor trade. 
On the second day of the training, 2 volunteers was asked to stand up and speak on a subject of their choice for 5 minutes. The rest of the class were asked to take notes followed by the tutor asking questions about the content.

Yes, you guessed it. I chose to speak for 5 minutes about brass bands!

I picked up 2 important lessons from this exercise. I noticed that the tutor asked questions about my subject that I felt he had misunderstood.

1. Did he listen carefully enough?
2. Did I explain myself well enough?

Bearing in mind last weeks episode, it appears I need to focus a little more on listening and getting clarification! 

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Mind Alchemy
Today's work speaks about the benefits of meditation and relaxation. I find that meditation works particularly well after free writing because it helps to clear the mind of clutter. I'm practising relaxations and meditation on a daily basis now and I find it really does help. 
In the guided relaxation/meditation classes I run, I like to allow people to ask for what they want in their lives in their minds. (This occurs at the most relaxed state). More importantly, I remind folk that they also have to opportunity to listen for the answers, either consciously or sub-consciously. 
If you are engaging in daily meditation, I recommend including this in your session. I believe it can have real benefits.  

Today's blog is inspired by a blog by The Loving Path.

Inspirational songs

Day 7 of Mind Alchemy and this is a task close to my heart. Picking my favourite inspirational songs.
Music plays SUCH an important part in what makes us tick as human beings. I can get inspired by music in so many ways. It is the ability to experience the whole range of emotions that means so much to me. Sometimes it's a sad song that inspires, simply because it allows us to get in touch with ourselves. 

As a musician, I find playing music a way to express feelings;  Joy, rest, fear, anger, gratitude, laughter, tears, excitement, ecstasy, and so many more emotions that are beyond words grant that great feeling. 

I'm going to share mine with some explanations of why they touch me. 

Queen - I want to break free. 

What can I say? Those times when we feel trapped in life. That desire to be free of the shackles. I remember having to work Saturdays in a motor dealer showroom and being tasked with vacuuming the floor first thing.  I hated working those Saturday mornings and would imagine myself as Freddie Mercury dressed up (ooer!)

Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

Always liked from when I was a child, but has particular significance when my cousin from Australia made a picture video about 20 years ago (she worked in media) to celebrate the full life of her father. It was brought over to us on video tape. This of course happened long before people were able to do what they do now and create video's with software on PC and upload to YouTube. 

Freely - Beggars' Belief

I make no excuse for blatant self promotion! It is just such a great song that lifts my spirits and I see it life the spirits of folk when we play it. 

Somewhere over the Rainbow - IZ

I really do love Eva Cassidy's cover of this too. This one has simplicity and has that ability again to lift the spirits.

There must be an Angel - Eurythmics.

Remind's me of clubbing as a teenager when night clubs played real chart music! Can't beat Stevie Wonder cameo on the mouth organ too. 

Digging your Scene - The Blow Monkey

I guess you describe this as somewhat obscure now. I can't explain much more that it remains in my memory as something from my teenager to 20's youth. 

Many Rivers to Cross - UB40

A moment captured in time. I was in a pub in Dover with an Afro Carribean friend back in the early 80's and this came on the juke box. He said to me "Man I love this song" I've loved it ever since. There is something very special about gospel singers too. 

Where is the Love - Black Eyed Peas.

This is a song that cries out from deep within the soul. This came out at the time when I discovered my vocation in life. I started working in a young persons hostel. The young lads played this all the time. I have a vision of a young hooded lad I was supporting, looking out his flat window blasting this out to the world. I guess he was demanding answers expressing his anger at how he felt life had dealt him a tough deal.

Mr Bojangles - Robbie Williams "Oh lord, when he shook his head" Does it for me every time!

My Way - Frank Sinatra

I love to sing this at Karaoke! When I struggled with my emotions in the past, I think back to those times and sing this. It's a song about integrity. 

There are many more songs, but I'd be here all night!

Creative Visualization

Picture attribute courtesy of Pete Hobden http://www.flickr.com/photos/55454187@N08/5155113480/

 "The problem with Martin in class is that he is a dreamer"
As a young child, that is what I heard spoken about me when I was in earshot and as if I wasn't there. I grew up thinking that being a dreamer was a bad thing. It is of course far from the truth. 

To create a vision in your minds eye of where you want to be. To "feel" that as if it were real right then and there. To taste and to smell the goodness of the feeling using the minds natural resource is a wonderful gift that I believe we all have if we choose to believe it and practice it regularly. Some find the process easier than others, but it IS something that we can learn. 

Day 6 of the Mind Alchemy workshop involves doing that very task of imagining what we want in our lives and "living" it in our mind. Personally, I found today's task relatively easy to do and very enjoyable too. I'm going to share my created and visualised story here and now.

Mind Alchemy Day 6 – Your perfect day

Read the 'Perfect Day' exercise details on the Mind Alchemy Day 6 - Your

Perfect Day and write your perfect day in here with as much details as

possible.

"It is a pleasant spring morning and I wake at 6am feeling rested after a good night sleep. The early morning light is seeping through the blind of the large picture window of my bedroom. I get out of bed and open the blinds to see the beautiful and serene view of the rural setting of my detached home. The birds are singing outside as the early morning sun begins to rise on the horizon, lighting up the early morning dew.

My wife is still asleep as I walk out of the bedroom through the spacious hallway and into the kitchen to make tea and toast. I put 2 slices of brown bread into the toaster and switch on some soothing classical music, a little Grieg. I take the morning cup of tea through to my wife and see the bedroom gradually begin to light up the airy, light, pastel coloured walls.

Walking into the on suite bathroom/wet room I brush my teeth and dress in my running shoes, shirt and shorts and start to do some gentle stretching. Just before I leave the house, I drink a glass of fruit juice, then I go for a 30 minute run down the country road leading to a coastal path across the cliffs, smiling at and acknowledging local people taking the dogs for a walk. The early morning sun has risen and there is a light fresh breeze. The sky is a bright blue with wisps of clouds.

Returning home, I take a shower, feeling full of vitality and enjoy the buzz of endorphins and serotonin naturally flowing around my body. I then go to my study and spend 30 minutes doing a meditation exercise, preparing myself for the day. I then switch on my PC and spend the morning preparing material and making arrangements for my next seminar.

My wife prepares lunch in our spacious kitchen. A salad with fresh produce from my garden that includes beetroot, lettuce, spring onions, peppers. Chicken and freshly boiled potatoes are placed on the table for the family to add to their plates.

After lunch, my colleagues from the band call round and we go into my recording studio to practice. We begin to work on some new songs through the afternoon and spend an hour planning our next few gigs as well as making final arrangements for our gig in the evening in town at the theatre.

It is late afternoon and my family gather together to go for a walk down toward the beach. We pop into a seafront cafe for a snack and refreshment before returning to my detached house to prepare for the evening where I will be playing live with the band. The whole family will be attending this event that will be covered by the local media.

Arriving at the theatre, I feel that familiar sense of excitement before our performance as people begin to enter the venue. The whole band working together preparing the equipment quickly gets us ready for the sound check and performance.

Having played 3 sets of our own music mixed with covers, the atmosphere is electric as the audience shout for more. CD's and merchandise sell well during the evening. We then pack everything and retire to the bar for a relaxing drink. We all discuss the success of the evening before returning home.

Arriving back at my detached home, I put my vehicle into the garage and sit out on the patio enjoying the peace of the spring evening and reflecting upon my day, allowing time to process the experience. As a little light rain begins to fall, I return indoors to watch a little TV before retiring to bed at about 12:30"

 

 Now listen!
Since Christmas, I've had the fantastic opportunity to learn to fly a helicopter! How fantastic is that? See the video......
 

Can you keep a good Countenance?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cuppini/5155242246/
courtesy of Ricky David.  
countenance [ˈkaʊntɪnəns]

n

1. the face, esp when considered as expressing a person's character or mood a pleasant countenance

2. support or encouragement; sanction

3. composure; self-control (esp in the phrases keep or lose one's countenance; out of countenance)

vb (tr)

1. to support or encourage; sanction

2. to tolerate; endure

source: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/keep+countenance 

As if by magic, these words came to me about an hour ago, so I again engaged in a little research. 


A deep seated desire in all humanity is to feel happy and content with our lives. I can't imagine anyone disagreeing with that statement. It is something that we create in our minds. Well at least I know I do. I have mind pictures that detail what I see and how I am likely to feel. 

The sight of a gentle sunset across the ocean after a warm summers day.
The sight of crisp and unbroken snow at dusk that displays a blue glow accompanied by the sound of silence. 


These thoughts and feelings cause me to smile. A genuine and authentic smile, when directed at another person is attractive. This is more than just raising the muscles in the cheeks and flashing your teeth. It appears in the eyes. The pupils dilate and eyes twinkle like two shining stars in the night sky. I've experienced the smile of people and I find that it touches my soul. Often the smile is returned because I have smiled at somebody first. A genuine smile can grant peace an security. It expresses agape love. 


If you are seeking to feel happy and content, you can begin by keeping a good countenance in public.

Resolve to smile at somebody with generosity and see if they smile back. Of course some people will not and that is just fine. Pass them by. They may have troubles they are dealing with and the moment was not the right time. Continue on with your good countenance. 


If somebody smiles at you with shining eyes and generosity, respond in kind. A passing comment in the street "Good afternoon" may just lighten somebodies day!

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Day 5 of Mind Alchemy is a really interesting exercise. I've only managed just under half of it. All this ties in really well to the first 4 days work. If you have not already seen and engaged in the programme, you sign up for it click here.

What can you do with Feedback?

Image courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/lost__in__spain/2575314016/
Day 4 of Steve Aitchison's Mind Alchemy and I'm really fired up after today's exercise! 

Writing a personal mission or vision statement is something I've tried to do before fairly recently but I'd say it has lack a little clarity. Today however, and with the timely intervention of 2 endorsements on the facebook application "Branchout" (one from Steve Aitchison himself)  the other from Matt Brown whom I met for a cuppa thanks to his invite the other day. 
I've been able to write something really meaningful as a result of feedback received.

Writing positively about oneself is quite a difficult thing to do and takes practice. There is the sense that we somehow want to be objective. What better way to get round this than to use the words gifted to us by the feedback of others! It then become authentic. 

If you get some inspiring feedback from someone, it is one thing to accept it and be grateful for it, but what are you going to do with it? If you do nothing, it will become stale and simply fade away. 


MAKE USE of the feedback to improve your life in  dramatic way. It is arguably the best gift you can get from somebody. I'm telling you this because this has become a true realisation for me literally since I got home from work today, switched on my PC and saw the feedback I received! 

I'm now going to share with you my mission/vision statement based on the work I've done for Mind Alchemy day 4.

My infectious and upbeat attitude, enthusiasm and drive, coupled with the learning and creative material I have produced will make a considerable difference to the lives of the clients that choose to work with me. My business will increase to earning a real significant part time income over the coming year of at least £500 per month profit by the end of 2011. I will also become a lead motivational speaker within the organisation with a conference of over 500 delegates who will be inspired by my infectious and upbeat attitude driven by integrity. 

My tenacious and patient attitude toward steadily building and increasing my network in my professional and personal life will increase opportunities to get recognition in my full time job (thereby receiving relevant remuneration) and will enable me to set up my own part time coaching business earning me additional, supplementary income. 

The Band I Play for: 

The presence of Beggars' Belief and the bands unique sound and truly live performance will become increasingly popular. The use of innovative promotional techniques to promote the band through it's fan base will spread the popularity. The band will perform at least once via radio and/or TV media by the end of 2011 earning national and international recognition. The upbeat, inspiring and positive music that is full of the realism of life experience in the written song lyrics will bring a positive attitude in the UK nation and beyond. 

By setting up a regular running regime and increasing my fitness during 2011, I will enter a marathon during the year to raise funds for a charitable cause of my choice.

 
 I truly believe that the music written by the band I'm in has the potential to be amazingly successful. The lyrics in the songs really do mean something. 
Take a listen to one of our country numbers "Grace". 
If you are seeking truth in your life, you'll not go far wrong be being inspired by what is sung here. Credit to Paul, Joe and the gang.